Happiness is an allegory.

"Being with 'him' I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one. The pain is an anchor, mooring me 'here'."

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

once I see you from a far, you standing there.

times fly away. you still there and my ride goes fast.

now I see you still there. I'm not refused to go forward but I just love seeing you there, not too close, not too far.
and there's a light. light that makes you clear, makes me clearly see you.

Kat Dennings feels me.

Teenage Angst

oh, adolescene

being a teenage girl is close to one of the worst things ever.

i have a high sex drive, my emotions run wild at all times, im constantly self conscious, hungry, bored, fucked up and all around a mess.

you know?

-tumblr

i miss everyone in my life. i miss my friends so much but i can't go out and hanging out with'em because they're already have their own bussiness. i miss my free-hug bear, i miss him so bad. i can't meet him so i'm grumble, say and do stupid, inappropriate things and i hate the fact that i did that, fact that i can't do nothing. about the condition and surely about my self.
things slap my face hard and make me realize that i did wrong. i realize again, i ain't even a teenager anymore! so whats so wrong about me? its almost 3 years, na-ah i think i've been like this, like, forever.
i know i have a problem in managing my anger. i know i always blame my hormone. fvcking hormone! i know i am unstable. labile as fvck. but i'm willing to change! promise you i will, as long as you stay. so, please stay.

if i ask you what is this, would you tell me the truth?

rise and gloom

(˘_˘")